Signed – Sore & Sleep Deprived in Bliss
Life with three is an absolute wonder…Grandma being here to cook, clean and entertain takes the edge off too (did I mention she tiled a bathroom wall and completed the kitchen back splash with Sean? No? Well she did, I know, I’m spoiled, but back to the girls.)
Briar has emerged from Finley’s arrival as a full fledged little girl. She is dancing and preening and generally cavorting in an “I’m ok” kind of splendor. I’ve hovered to make sure it isn’t an act, but honestly it seems as if she has been liberated. Her eyes dance and her legs move like a blur beneath her, carrying her from one big-girl activity to the next. Every once and again she flits by caresses Fin’s face, pats my cheek and says, “Aw, she’s just sooo Cute,” and then she is gone.
Avery finds herself torn between reaching for my arms, pleading to be carried and passionately pleading to hold Finley, her baby, our baby, Mama’s baby, Daddy’s baby, Briar’s baby, my baby, Grandma’s baby, all ours baby. Last night, as Finley had her signature, “Hey, it’s that time again, 1:45, the commencement of the three hour block of together time,” Avery padded to our room. Sean was in with Briar, so I helped her up into bed. The three of us spent the next several hours nursing and cuddling. Avery, seeing that Fin was hungry, offered to help. As Finley hungrily slurped milk at my breast Avery leaned into me, pressing both hands on the top of my breast and saying, “I’m helping Finley with her milk in your body.” The blend of mother earth and bovine machine made me break into punchy giggles.
I am sore, memories of the first six weeks of breastfeeding coming back in full, smarting-red and purple glory. The reality of being up with Finley and knowing that it is not soothing or milk or changing that she wants, but just my presence, veils me in the inimitable cloak of this time, joy and sorrow in every breath, the miracle of life and the sudden awareness of how swiftly the hands of time move pressing upon me.
And then they are there, kneading and suckling, honeyed breaths dusting my face, Sean murmuring to Briar down the hall, a soft pillow cradling my head as tendrils of Avery’s hair tickle my face and Finley’s toes play along my belly. My family filling up the crevices of this sleepless, rapturous time.
Silently I scribe the details of this moment in time, the marrow of my life signing it happily…
sore and sleep deprived in bliss
truly the best kind of bliss
You make it all sound so easy. Shamed, I am, here and worrying about two.
You are my example to follow. Bless all of you.
You are bringing back such treasured memories for me. Thank you.
Those first weeks are so hard and dreamy and wonderful all at once – and ouch, the first six weeks of breastfeeding.
You write about this to exquisitely, and as teom said, you are bringing back treasured memories that I did not capture nearly as beautifully.
*sigh* Lady, your life….is just so beautiful
Lovely Amanda. Thinking of you!
Amanda,
This is beautiful.
(your gonna have to change up your banner soon, to include a third!)
I'm going to blame you if I get pregnant.
(Well, not technically…but how you're making me pine for milky breasts and a nuzzling newborn!)
Yes tired but happy
You have brought back some sweet memories.
Dude. How are you so lucid? I was a wreck both times!
You're making me ache a little for a mewling newborn. But not for the sleep depriation; I will never miss that part.
Enjoy.
This was fantastic, Mama! So glad you are enjoying each other and that things are going so well…
Oh, and I'm ready for more pictures now
you make even sleep deprivation and soreness sound good.
beautifully written! Enjoy your blessings.
Oh, the memories. I had little girls squeezing my breasts and trying to shove them into the face of a Finn too, and the toes against my still large, sensitive belly… Drink it in!
I haven't felt like reading any blogs lately – except yours – a wonderful place to visit for a slice of heaven.
I'll get back to it soon – but for now – this is enough. And more.
How beautiful, congratulations to you guys, and welcome to Planet earth little Finley, she's beautiful. We'll be joining you in the three kid circus soon, I can only dream that it would go so smoothly though I do not have such helpful family around, and wow, tiling! Happy babymoon to you
Everytime I read one of your blogs, I just want to say "What she said". Don't you just know how to capture it with your words!!! Living vicariously through you,
my baby is now a toddler in Dallas
Tired, and blissful. Awesome.