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I hate cats

Posted on March 31, 2009

No, I really do. I am sorry if you love them. I should probably say I also never really went through the “I love dolphins” phase. I was kind of a dorky Huey Lewis into George Thoroughgood, David Addison into Arnie Becker into, hula hoop into track shoes kind of dork. All the way through I hated cats and they hated me back. Ask my sister. Anyway, the cat today is the proverbial cat in the bag, or out of the bag as it were. I have officially lost track of who reads this blogs, who knows this blog exists and who could use this blog to trip me up publicly. Not that I’d ever say anything that isn’t true, but perhaps I’ve had…

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I’d never want that*

Posted on March 31, 2009

Finley continues to walk. She is almost running, luckily she circles back.Briar and I went to her kindergarten screening today. She is a whiz, a charming, radiant whiz.Avery is exploding. Language. Athletic prowess. Beauty. Staggering. This morning, sitting at the office in a production meeting, I found myself looking around the table at the staff. A newly engaged 20-something, a 30-something mom to 2 under 2, a 40-something dad of two in elementary school, our partners, each a few years ahead of us in age and on the parenting ladder. It was all I could do not to cry. Blonde hair, red hair, olive skin, long lashes, tall, short, slight, athletic— all of us so very different, yet as I watched each set of…

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She’ll be coming ’round*

Posted on March 27, 2009

Three daughters in four years. It wasn’t easy, but we decided we were done. I don’t think about it often, but every once in a while I do. My period came. It will always come now. She is nursing, but she is nursing less. When she is done, I will be too. She is walking. My last baby is walking. There is celebration and joy within these milestones, but as I have learned in these four years, with every soaring trip my heart makes as the girls triumph, a part of me becomes irreparably broken. I want to stomp my feet and stop time, but there are kindergarten matriculation papers that make me giddy. First days of school and new experiences. There is Avery’s…

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I’m Saying It

Posted on March 24, 2009

There’s a reason the phrase, “getting up the nerve” exists. I think if we always had the nerve it’d no longer feel like nerve, it would just be. Not bold. Not brave. Just constant and with constants come the desire for change, no? Look at me overthinking and stalling while I try and work up the nerve. See, yesterday was a bad day. Started a half-step out of synch and began spiraling quickly to something much worse. We tried to fix it and by we, I mean Sean. He did every little thing you wish for your husband or best friend to do, but you’re too embarrassed to ask. We almost made it, but then naps and meals and conflicting desires collided into a…

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Just Us

Posted on March 21, 2009

The other day I declared that after work there would be no news or Facebook until bedtime. We were going to focus on the girls without the interruptions of work, chatting or anything else not strictly playing-together-on-the-floor related. We closed the door and sat in the late afternoon sun that poured through the picture windows. The floor was a tapestry of magnetic doll arrangements, blocks, stuffed animals and books. Fin was standing at the play kitchen chucking plastic pots this way and that. Briar was sprawled on the couch with a V-tech laptop matching letters as she cradled a fiercely swaddled baby Snow White doll in her left arm. Ave was blinking with energy- her curls flipping back and forth as she repeatedly took…

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