Archive for

Ah-mo

Posted on August 31, 2009

I suppose it might get old, this writing out the phonetic spelling of little kid words, or more specifically the reading of it. I’ve gone back through my archives and read some of my old posts. There are many I’d rather have gone, the style, the content or the absence of editing all making me blush. I don’t strike them from the record, knowing that in the same way that there will be memories I’d rather didn’t exist, so too will there be less than perfect blog entries. My legacy for the girls, part memories we created together and part my retelling of moments they may not recall, is something I hope will be as rich as it is authentic. There have been starts…

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Categories: Mama Sap

Crickets, Woodpeckers and Bunk Beds

Posted on August 26, 2009

Sean had set his iphone up as an alarm clock for me, but when I heard the soft rolling of digital bells as day broke I was confused. I waited a moment before stirring, the sounds of crickets through the window punctuated by the rat-tat-tat siren of a woodpecker. Finley was to the right of me, nursing with one hand woven through her tousled hair and the other on my neck, Briar was behind me, curled in a ball parallel to the foot of the bed with her legs touching mine. Sean was gone. This musical sleeping station thing happens around here, with one parent being traded for a child and another child being added to the mix. After flanking Fin with pillows and…

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Categories: Me

Still Here

Posted on August 25, 2009

Ever hear the one about the mom who finally had a health hiccup and proceeded to completely lose her sh*t? No? Check it out. Sorry to have been absent, somewhere between Chicago and normal I lost my way. Been burying my head in babies and daydreams. I suppose there are worse things to do. I’ve missed this though, this place where I wax euphoric on my family. If I’d had my head on straight I’d have shared with you the way Finley almost broke her leg and how through the experience she reminded us how to carry on and be present in all that you have, rather than adrift in the not having. I would have told you that Avery says, “I am feeling…

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Categories: Me

Bells On

Posted on August 25, 2009

So, the day is finally here. My colonoscopy is at 1. ____________ Ave’s take: Wear a seatbelt, bear down and pretend it’s a motorcycle. I am trying to quell the expectation that the doc is going to pat me on the hip post-probe and say, “Well, as I thought, it was an (insert harmless affliction).” Sean and I will gleefully hand the cashier a $75 copay and head out for a brilliant, if kinda crampy, sunny Tuesday. I am preparing for him to say, “Well, as I thought, it was fairly harmless, but we did take a few samples and will have them checked. Should know more in 7-10 business days.” We’ll still pay and hold hands, it will still be sunny, I’ll still…

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Categories: Me

Blocked

Posted on August 23, 2009

It’s not that this is not a magical time, because it is. We are sitting at the eve of a new era; Briar starts kindergarten in less than a month, some 8 blocks away Avery starts preschool and Fin gets a crack at being the only kid. This is the last summer of babies and yet I am without words. I look at my laptop with an aching, I am desperate to write something down, to mark this time. I come up empty every time, either too nervous to open the dashboard on blogger or too keenly aware that the words I would write would be forced, fake, unworthy. This is my space to remember and with very few exceptions I have kept it…

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Categories: Me