Archive for

I Don’t Want To…

Posted on October 26, 2012

Lately Briar has been preoccupied with the idea of growing up. She seems convinced that by doing so, I will somehow cease to be her mom. Last night we talked, nose-to-nose about what growing up really means. I tried to explain that as she gets older she won’t want to spend time with me. “Instead of being annoyed with your sisters, you’ll be annoyed with Dad and me.” She rolled her eyes, as if. I tried a different tack. “You know how you helped me rake leaves today while your sisters played out back? That was incredible and it was very grown up. As you grow up, we’ll keep doing that—discovering new things together.” I watched her as she considered it. No go. She…

+Read more

How I am

Posted on October 18, 2012

We’re all bundles of complexity, right? You love scary movies but you won’t go on roller coasters. You are a vegetarian but you wear leather. You buy local, but you shop at Wal Mart. You consider yourself a person of faith, but you don’t attend church. You are pro-choice, but would never have an abortion. Yeah, sh*t just got real, right? Here’s the thing, there has been a whole lot of finger pointing and belief slamming on both sides of the political fence. I think that some of my debate-tirades on twitter have probably falling squarely into the “not-very-open-minded” category. I get that we all get fired up. We can and we should cultivate opinion, because we have the freedom to do so. Other…

+Read more

Like Building Forts*

Posted on October 11, 2012

Our first house had three porches, two of which were technically front porches. I used to take a rag tag bunch of tapestries and fashion flowy, sun dappled forts for the girls. We’d sit on the old, slat wood porches, peeking between the fabric and railing to whisper about passing cars. Sometimes I’d watch the girls, legs akimbo sleeping on sofa cushions with snack scraps scattered every which way. Leaning against the outside wall of our house I’d look down at my toes, the teal and magenta tapestries fluttering below, content that I’d made something from very little and that it had made the girls so happy. I still build forts, though we no longer have those three porches. When I’m not constructing play…

+Read more

Pressing Moments

Posted on October 9, 2012

Days pass, the hours and minutes diabolically fluid, unconcerned by things like consistency. They sometimes stretch impossibly, then other times disappear without warning. I tell myself I should buy sparklers but when I look up, I’m late for jack-o-lanterns. We talked about Disney World, but they were too young, now we are in a sprint to beat the imminent disdain for princesses. I used to chase the traditions I thought we were supposed to have, but I’ve come to understand that they aren’t for us. Our special, our “we always used to…” is in projects and road trips, not centerpieces. Driving north the girls will exclaim, “Hey, we swam there. Remember mom?” I’ll listen as they tango with the details, “I was four and you…

+Read more

Life’s Curves

Posted on October 3, 2012

This morning the phone rang with news that a colleague, friend and mentor died unexpectedly. This person was someone who was loosely threaded through so many different chapters of our time in Glens Falls and Queensbury. He walked me through my first press check. He wore a velvet robe and laurel wreath as Father Christmas during the holidays and read Robert Frost to our girls. He brought soups and sauces he made into our first office and then our second office. He sent me messages of wisdom about never letting go of your dreams—he said very plainly, “Don’t ever grow up. Just don’t.” He kept us honest at work, encouraging us, chiding us and ribbing us in the way only a person who truly…

+Read more