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Between Splinters and Sparkles

Posted on December 27, 2012

I remember thinking that I couldn’t wait to flip the calendar from 2011 to 2012. Foolish woman. As I look back on 2012 I realize that there will always be things I’d rather not relive, instincts that I will forever regret not following, but this isn’t college. I can’t replace my threadbare stuffed lion for a broken heart. The chip on my shoulder won’t teach anyone a lesson. The three sets of blue eyes that I catch watching me as I stare mournfully in to space are potent reminders that savoring heartache isn’t a pastime that I can enjoy without explanation. Yet, even as I try to shield the girls from certain details, I am evermore aware that I have to do less protecting and…

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Sweeping Grief

Posted on December 14, 2012

As a society we have a fundamental responsibility to protect our young. This isn’t political, it’s not parent vs non-parent—it is the basic proposition of keeping the defenseless safe. Our system is broken and kids are dying. It will take our collective willingness—our coming together despite political, social and economic differences, to fix our shared, incomprehensible reality that our children aren’t safe at school. Or at the mall. Or at the movie theatre. Today I watched my kids’ bus come home with a mixture of horror and shameful gratitude. Every bus, every child, they should always come home. May those sweet souls rest in peace and may their families find themselves surrounded in love and support from all of us.

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The Doing in I Do

Posted on December 14, 2012

This June Sean and I will celebrate 10 years of marriage. Seems impossible to believe, because I can still feel that June sun beating down on us as we stood before the minister. The crescendo of nursing, diapering, strollering and co-sleeping has quieted. They reach for their own cups, they read books to one another and have begun to slowly show signs of wanting us to take a step back. Somehow in parenting you develop the ability to recognize when a moment has come—to let go of the bike as they learn to pedal, to gracefully pass a glass and allow them to wobble and teeter their way to the table. We shift our grasp and at times actually let go. I don’t know that I…

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Feet off the ground

Posted on December 11, 2012

Saturday night Sean had a Cabin 3 gig at Davidson Brothers. Normally I would have taken the girls to the 6pm performance, which makes for a great dinner out and a chance to rush the stage. They love hearing him play and he loves having them in the audience, but we’d spent more than 3 hours at a tubing place in less than perfect weather, so the prudent thing to do seemed to be to call it a day. There was absolutely no fight at bedtime, so the kisses I planted on their foreheads happened after they’d already slipped off to dreamland. I padded downstairs to write a post about a bedtime that didn’t go as smoothly. Writing about these moments that don’t fit…

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