The Wink

When Briar was three, Avery was 1 and Finley was quickly pushing my belly to dimensions that made lap sitting an Olympic event. I remember being keenly aware of Briar’s threeness as I went through Fin’s pregnancy. The guilt did not swirl in quite the same way as it did with Avery, but it was there. The emotions made me see her in a blurry mix of baby and big girl. She was so capable and yet the lilt in her voice, the irresistible quirks of the words she chose and the unpredictable ways she saw the world enchanted me. I remember so many moments that I caught myself watching her with my mouth agape in delight.

Briar and her shadow, age 3

She talked to moss, cooed at it really. On walks she would shush me as she’d squat purposefully alongside a mossy rock. “Shhhh, mama, shhh, it’s a’seepin’.” I would nod solemnly and squat down beside her where she’d take my finger and place it softly over the puffy green moss. “See, do you feel it?” each word spoken in a zig zag. I would always nod quietly and she would smile back, approving my quiet response.

I remember three being so special, with each girl, actually. For every hard edge at three there is a soft side, a kiss and clap for every tear and struggle. Teddy bears and tickles, jumping on beds and sitting in chairs, tantrums and maybe even more tantrums, but oh, those still-pudgy hands and napping pusses.

Today’s post in the This is Childhood series is from Nina Badzin.

Please head over to read This is Three.

Age 1 by Aidan Donnelley Rowley

Age 2 by Kristen Levithan

Age 3 by Nina Badzin

Age 4 by Galit Breen

Age 5 by Allison Slater Tate

Age 6 by Bethany Meyer

Age 7 by Tracy Morrison

Age 8 by me and inspired by Briar

Age 9 by Denise Ullem

Age 10 by Lindsey Mead