The Wink

Have you ever seen something and silently thought, “I wish I’d had that idea!” Today’s post for This is Childhood made me so envious of a turn of phrase, that were it not for how beautifully it described a moment, I might have stewed with jealousy.

Her words begin to tumble down the hill of her emotion, the intricacies of Who said What less important than How it made her feel. I hold my breath, afraid that if I move or shift she’ll stop talking. Not unlike when she was a baby–finally, finally sleeping, I’d hold my breath and and tip toe out of her room, fearful that one floor creak or aggressive exhale would break the sleeping spell.

There are so many moment of holding my breath—for good, for bad, for willing time to stand still as I sear a memory into my being. I revel in the heartbreaking nature of this partnership, of knowing that there are inevitabilities to our relationship; hurts that I cannot prevent and truths I cannot unwrite.

Denise writes about nine in a way that honors the many prisms of a family—mother and daughter, daughter and outside world, mother and father. I ache knowing how soon nine and then eighteen will be here, but would not trade the honor for all the tearless days under the sun.

Go, read, weep, remember and rejoice through the words of Denise on Nine.

For more from the This is Childhood series you can visit the links below.

Aidan Donnelley Rowley Age 1

Kristen Levithan Age 2

Nina Badzin Age 3

Galit Breen Age 4

Allison Slater Tate Age 5

Bethany Meyer Age 6

Tracy Morrison Age 7

Age 8 inspired by Briar

Denise Ullem Age 9

Lindsey Mead Age 10