I can hear myself saying, “I’m not crafty” and “I am a disorganized mess,” but the truth is that I’m crafty and organized in my own way. It sounds like a way to justify a mess and never throwing anything away, and maybe it is, but the messiness is what helps me pull together forts, spice up last-minute gifts, and change a boring Saturday into something more.
I think it’s easy to feel less-than in the era of Pinterest, DIY celebrities, and #OOTD amazingness. I am clinically slow to recognize talent or accomplishment in myself, when I do manage to muster a bit of, “Damn right, I did that” I tend to fall apart in some other area. Case in point today I made a last minute switch to Finley’s costume and helped Sean apply a set of false eyelashes I just happened to have, but when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror at work I looked haggard and the outfit I thought was polished looked sloppy. Suddenly all I allowed was the assertion I couldn’t look good for work, not that my kid was happy or that my husband was killing it in his costume.
Saturday there was a Halloween-related event I needed to attend downtown. I knew the girls would get a kick out of it and it was a surefire way to shock them out of their all-consuming boredom with the dark rainy day. I helped them put their Ghostbuster costumes together and then ducked into the bathroom. I thought maybe I could do myself up a bit like a ghost and surprise them.
As I crouched to search under the bathroom sink I remembered purging case after case of unused eyeshadow, sticks of liner, and the Halloween make up from last year. I felt flustered and blew my hair out of my face. I wasn’t ready to give up. I gathered everything that was left and set it in a heap on the counter. Slowly I created hollows beneath my cheekbones, lined my eyes with red and black liner and dusted green eyeshadow (don’t ask) on my forehead and around my nose.
Twenty minutes later, with baby’s breath tucked in my hair, and a dress accented with ripped netting I emerged and called Finley into that hallway.
“What? Mom? How did you do that awesome? Like, it’s so, wow! Girls come look!”
I could have done anything to my face or just worn a a strange hat and they would have been wowed. The thing I realized is that I can adopt an attitude of why not and create a magic that money can’t buy and events can offer. It’s me jumping both feet into their world, that’s the superpower.
Let me tell you, even as they tried to bust the ghost that I was, it was entirely awesome. You don’t have to use it every day, but don’t ever doubt your power to make a little magic.