Posts from the “Mama Sap” Category

Don’t Blink

Posted on November 13, 2014

Night before last I was the last one up to bed. I was typing away down here, putting away the last dishes, and, of course, playing with the kittens. By the time I went up I was bleary eyed and ready to drop. I plunked my phone on the bedside table and then walked down to the bathroom. After washing my face and brushing my teeth I padded down the hall to Fin and Ave. Ave had rolled and tucked deep inside the blankets, a thatch of dark hair covering one eye. I nuzzled her face, brushing the hair aside as I whispered, “Mama loves you.” She stirred, pressing a hand against my face, “Mmmmama.” My eyes crinkled, I pivoted to Finley. She was…

+Read more

The Watercolor of Parenting—Tears and Twinkles

Posted on November 3, 2014

We used to say that when we went to a restaurant there was a window. It became Sean’s standard new-dad-but-getting-the-hang-of-it line. “We know that when we walk into the restaurant we have 20 minutes, 30 or 35 tops, before the wheels fall off. My goal is to always be through the door with the car seat or stroller before a single wheel drops,” he’d say proudly. He never judged the parents who missed the window, but like some sort of talent scout watching a football game in the midwest, he’d cock his head toward a table, click the side of his mouth, and say, “They’re on the edge of their window.” To this day we still watch parents with toddlers at restaurants, not to stare daggers…

+Read more

Hints of What Matters Amid the Chaos

Posted on October 22, 2014

  Time is doing that thing, that thing that reveals how fast it goes even while some days seem to last for weeks. It isn’t the back-to-school blur or a concentration of deadlines at work, though those are both real and present. It’s the toss of hair and expressiveness of Finley’s eyebrows, her declarations of, “It’s just odd!” followed by a quick scan of the room to see if we all caught how mature she is. It’s Briar slipping quietly into a private realm, emotions and Minecraft, daydreams and song lyrics. The way Avery thrashes in the night, limbs too long for her pjs and shocks of hair that when tucked behind her ear, reveal new hollows in her face. I buck against the…

+Read more

Saturday Lessons on LEGOs and Saying Yes

Posted on August 31, 2014

I woke up this morning to Finley spooning me. Her face was close enough that my hair fluttered as she sighed. I kept my eyes closed because I wasn’t ready. She ran her finger up and over my shoulder again and again. I listened, the house was quiet but for the ceiling fans running. “Where are your sisters?” I murmured softly enough that she’d know I still wasn’t committed to waking up. “Briar is downstairs, when I looked for Ave I couldn’t find her in her bed. Did Dad leave?” I nodded, she hugged me tighter. I cracked an eye, she beamed at me. I tried to keep it open, but the pull of sleep and the resistance to all that the day would…

+Read more

Can you cut them?

Posted on June 17, 2014

It was a simple enough question, “Mom, can you cut these for shorts for me?” Finely stood beside me, her hair irresistibly akimbo from going to bed immediately after her bath. I touched the raised, white polka dots and let the memories come. Three sets of legs walking around in these pants. I’d bought them on one of my many shopping excursions powered by a firm belief that kids should be encouraged to mix patterns. Soon enough they’ll have rules to follow, shapes to dress for, and other loads of shit that detract from just dressing to please yourself and suit your activities. She waited patiently, perfectly accustomed to my tendency toward glazed-eye reflection. “Cut them?” I asked softly. “Uh-huh, I don’t have anymore…

+Read more