Posts from the “Me” Category

Limiting “All”

Posted on September 19, 2015

Six months ago, give or take, I discovered a new word. It was love at first sight. I loved the way I couldn’t say it without making a funny face or how reading its definition felt like permission granted. habseligkeiten, which I never want to capitalize because it feels as if it deserves to live forever as a lowercase word, a member of the eternal tribe of dreamers and collectors, discoverers and believers.   Montages danced before me of bits of bark, ends of ribbons, metal shavings, and dry eraser ink stained tissues. A lump threatened in my throat as guilt lanced me, all the things I’ve tossed into garbage bags. We can’t keep every single thing that we collect or sustain an impenetrable awareness…

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Be One More

Posted on June 23, 2015

The other day I was sitting in our backyard soaking up the sound of the leaves  in the wind, the rustle like water to my ears. Blades of grass danced with beads of water from the soaking I’d given them. I looked at the yellow blossoms popping along the cucumber vines, the soil rich with coffee grounds and molasses water. Pink chive blossoms bobbed in the wind from their perch in the whiskey barrel, along with the cilantro and mint I’d planted. Then something caught my eye, a little blossom that I hadn’t planted, a volunteer, my mom would call it. It had sprung from the crevices in the stone wall—never planted, never intentionally watered, and having to strain for its place in the sun.…

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A New Gauge

Posted on June 7, 2015

Saturday we took the girls to a day-long concert. I imagined that it would be an amazing, magical experience, and it was. The only thing is that the magic I’d been chasing didn’t happen until the absolute end of the day. The girls were over the moon at the prospect of seeing Sawyer Fredericks. Sean and I assumed he’d kick off the concert, not close it out.   It was a warm day and while I’d prepared us with granola bars and cash, there was so very much for which I had not. The volume, the smoking, the exhibitionists, the rule-breaking by others that I told the girls still wasn’t ok for them to do. Mostly they got it and soaked in all the…

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You aren’t doing anything wrong.

Posted on May 30, 2015

  I get it, life moves fast, time is so precious that we all try to quickly assess each moment and categorize things in order to keep moving along, but I think there is a chance we’re missing something in our haste. Last fall we took the girls to Jay Peak. The time was particularly special for Avery, something about the athleticism of the options there spoke to her. Since that weekend she has asked to go again, to climb rock walls or try flow boarding. I kept delaying, murmuring “maybe.” She boogie boarded during Fin’s birthday party, defiantly exuberant despite being the only girl on the waves. Over the past few weeks I’ve caught myself looking at people’s Facebook posts rolling my eyes.…

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Wedgies and Leaks

Posted on April 28, 2015

Bear with me as I muster the courage to post what I am about to post. I’ve been talking about body quite a bit lately. Mine. My daughters’. Other women’s. I inhale the words of other women about their bodies. Why? I think I do it because so much changes from day to day, but even as I grow wiser and more accepting, the nagging voice, as Rebecca Woolf says, lingers for decades whispering the same cruel refrain of not being good enough. I want to know if others have it, or if I am somehow defective. This is why I want to post about underwear. They are an every day thing and there is no way to put them on without being naked. How…

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