It would be so easy if emotions could be compartmentalized, if I could allow how I feel about one area of my life to not influence things in other areas. I’ve used this space for so many things, it has has been a place to chronicle parenthood, to mark the passage of time, to quest, [...]
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Last night I had a talk with my family, it was like Intervention-light. Not that I have ever watched that show, but my addiction to doing, carrying, handling, managing and scads more words ending with “ing” is deep rooted. I have a primal need to do and an unrelenting hunger to please, fix and impress. [...]
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
I thought parenting was humbling, the flashes of thinking I’d be able to do it all, the fantasies of avoiding the ruts, the memories of choices my parents made that I questioned. Six years on the doing side of parenting and I realize how often we have to react as opposed to decide, that even [...]
Saturday, July 24, 2010
I never imagined that some of the photos I snapped absentmindedly would become the things that would reopen every facet of a moment, from the smell of the butcher block and the sheen of the sippy cup rings to the way the breeze had rattled the loose front screen door. I can hear the echo [...]
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Despite my desire to feel better, I am exhausted. Short of breath, unexpectedly dizzy and generally tentative as I still feel a little unsure of my body. Today was my first day back in the office and it took everything out of me and then some. I might have been here at home feeling ever [...]
Thursday, July 15, 2010
It’s been five days. The first day I rested. The second day I reeled. The third day I dipped my toe into a new normal. The fourth day I crumbled. Today I am in a struggle between what I want, what I know and what my body says through unexpected dizzy spells, shortness of breath [...]
Monday, July 12, 2010
I write so often about the fleetingness of time, of the preciousness of every little thing. This morning I realize that so much of it was just words. You just can’t really know until death whispers at your door. For me it wasn’t until… They shielded my babies. The clots filled my hands. The blood flowed over my lap. I [...]
Sunday, June 6, 2010
We woke to a dark day with a plan to make the most of it by opening the garage doors and creating sheltered outdoor play during the storm. It seemed brilliant and was sailing along perfectly until I got walloped by my Sunday morning quirk. Basically it’s this—if we don’t have a Sunday plan, we [...]
Friday, June 4, 2010
Stories circle me, pooling at my feet, wrapping around my ankles and snaking up my leg. They cling to me like yesterday’s sun and I smile, the warmth of the forgotten moments surprising me throughout the day. And oh, these days, they attack me from the other direction, dawn coming after the first requests to get [...]
Friday, May 7, 2010
I always feel kind of sheepish when I discover something that’s been there all along. Like my revelation is somehow magnificent, when really, it’s just overdue. We are saving for a house— the contract has been accepted, we love it, we’re ready for the next chapter. We are believers in creating your own destiny, but [...]
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Friday, August 27, 2010
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