Posts from the “Me” Category

Wedgies and Leaks

Posted on April 28, 2015

Bear with me as I muster the courage to post what I am about to post. I’ve been talking about body quite a bit lately. Mine. My daughters’. Other women’s. I inhale the words of other women about their bodies. Why? I think I do it because so much changes from day to day, but even as I grow wiser and more accepting, the nagging voice, as Rebecca Woolf says, lingers for decades whispering the same cruel refrain of not being good enough. I want to know if others have it, or if I am somehow defective. This is why I want to post about underwear. They are an every day thing and there is no way to put them on without being naked. How…

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April’s Power is Unpredictability

Posted on April 9, 2015

It has been a winter. The freezing temperatures, the pervasiveness of national and global tragedies, and the relentlessness of trying to stay positive. Yesterday I drove my sister to the airport. She had joked during her visit that she brought the sun. She wasn’t wrong, it was gorgeous during her stay. We walked together nearly every day and the trips to the playground with the girls were epic.     Then, after I headed back north, it began to snow—she’d taken the nice weather with her, it wold seem. I was incredulous. Ave was quiet beside me, engrossed in a game of Minecraft. I watched the flakes fall, some easily as big as half dollars. I drove twenty miles through the flurries and then they…

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What I Learned From a Bag of Pizza Dough

Posted on April 3, 2015

Sometimes we make pizza for dinner. I don’t go so far as to make the dough, because I think, from my very non-baker vantage, that would require a level of skill far beyond what I currently have. Instead I buy these cute little bags of dough that are sold next to the refrigerated humus, salsa, and noodles at the grocery store. It is a part of my ever evolving internal battle with wholesome vs manageable and quality vs enjoyment.   The dough comes in garlic, basil, wheat, and white. I’ve tried them all and the girls and Sean prefer the white, rather than thinking wheat is healthier or more virtuous, I snag the white thinking, “They will enjoy this.” I keep the bags in the freezer,…

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No Shortage of Cruelty, Add Kindness

Posted on March 12, 2015

We got a call a few weeks ago from the cable company offering to hook up cable. I explained that we had cut it because it was an unnecessary expense and an unwelcome time suck. The woman chuckled and tried to mention stations that might pique my interest. Having been without cable for a few years, I could honestly say that I wasn’t interested in any of them. Then she mentioned sports. The only time we have ever complained about the absence of cable has been a laundry lament, Sean saying that he wished we could have Sunday games on in the background as we folded laundry or cleaned the house. “How much? I asked her. After some keyboard clicking and a few minutes…

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Tantrums & Deep Breaths

Posted on March 8, 2015

I was getting dressed. It should have been a good day, I’d slept well the night before, I’d been working out, but there it was; a persistent, dull heat and the threat of a tantrum. I was trying to avoid my triggers—don’t grab the top that I haven’t yet donated despite the fact that it always makes me feel hideous. Don’t start my hair or make up before the girls are all set because they’ll interrupt. Don’t decide this is the time to look for the missing necklace. I kept moving through the morning paces, but my thoughts kept banking into a wall of negativity—what I wasn’t doing, what I wasn’t feeling, what I wasn’t getting, and what I was ceasing to believe could ever be. It’s the last one…

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