Posts from the “Random” Category

Rooted in the land of torn

Posted on March 21, 2017

It seems that there is an inevitable counterweight to pressure, when things at work begin to move quickly, requiring more focus and time, the details at home get trickier. I suppose I signed on for this, I knew that being a mom and being a business owner would multiply the number of things and people who are my responsibility. What I did not understand was that the peace I make with sacrifice and compromise would not be one and done, I go through it over and over again. “I’ve got this.” “I am failing.” “I can’t do this.” “I have to do this.” “What have I done?” “Why do I do this?”I read the words of other women on both sides of this, I read…

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Count On This

Posted on March 7, 2017

Tomorrow is Wednesday. Babies will be born. People will die. Marriages will end. First crushes will crescendo. People will be hired. New stories will begin. Garbage bags will tear. We will all feel different things. As my Instagram feed has shifted, a result of each of us grabbing the reins of our own stories and sharing what we feel is appropriate, I am seeing bouquets of flowers because life is too short not to buy them, as often as I am seeing flowers because life was in fact too short. Mountainous swells of joy follow words that so succinctly portray heartache it doesn’t seem possible that they occupy the same realm. I have no answers, but I do know one thing—I want to fight time…

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A Buzz in the Air

Posted on January 30, 2017

Resharing from Instagram because when we forget to share the good things out loud, sometimes I think we can also cheat ourselves out of feeling them. I was running an errand a couple blocks from my office. I decided to walk because lately walks haven’t really been in the mix on account of my schedule and the weather. It was such a departure to move without hurrying. I got to the end of the sidewalk, looked up, and gasped. It was cold enough to see my breath and I was staring at a bee hive. I thought of reading Winnie the Pooh as a little girl, of my grandfather wanting to have his copy of the book near him as he was in hospice…

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Am I doing enough good?

Posted on January 22, 2017

This year the girls have been interested in knowing what I am doing at work, responding to my questions about what gear they need to bring to school with questions of their own. “What are you doing today? Meetings or emails?” “Is this a ‘you already have the job’ or a ‘you are fighting to win the job’ kind of day?” “Are you going to talk to people you like today or will it be a hard day?” Sometimes it feels like it slows me down, other times it genuinely helps me prepare for the day. A few weeks ago we were working on a proposal for a faith-centered retirement community. I try to find connections that allow me to feel comfortable speaking in the first-person about an…

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Tomorrow

Posted on January 19, 2017

Tomorrow will be different.   There is no silver lining, I don’t even think we know how bad it will actually get.   But there is a tomorrow. I am going to hang on to the idea that each day, each tomorrow, I get an opportunity to make things different. It will not always be in big ways, or with legions of people. It may be one person in one softly spoken conversation.   I won’t stop just because it’s different, but I also won’t sugarcoat how deeply troubled I am.  

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