Posts from the “Random” Category

Tides of Motherhood

Posted on May 6, 2016

“We need to get to bed early. All of us!” Sean said in a weary voice. I nodded, my heart racing, that familiar sensation of feeling relieved and slightly attacked at once. I was genuinely excited because the reentry from spring break has not been easy. Emotions have been running high, allergies are raging, school and extracurricular pursuits are bleeding heavily into free time, and the dog is peeing everywhere. I felt like I had somehow failed. I tend to interpret, “We need to ______” as being, “You haven’t ________, so we need to_______.” I tried to override my defensiveness and said, “I’ll get dinner done early, ignore the folding, and make sure the girls are mellow and read a bedtime story.” He immediately said, “I’ll help”…

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Your Horn Won’t Toot Itself

Posted on April 8, 2016

There are things I have learned to temper, my anger, for instance. That big old bag of indignation doesn’t have to be front and center at all times. I save it, because every little thing doesn’t deserve my whole heart and voice, but the things that deserve it will get it. I also pace myself on projects. Ok, that’s kind of not true, but I think about slowing down and making sure I don’t overdo it before actually overdoing it. Mostly this is the right decision for me.   That whole first paragraph up there? That is me avoiding what I came here to do, which is to crow about something that delights me. It more than delights me, it floors me and lifts…

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How is it February?

Posted on February 9, 2016

My last big act of 2015 was the culmination of wanting control over one part of my life. I ached to create a clearly defined and sustained period of time spent focused on the girls. I didn’t want it to be commercial or rooted in eating, no shopping, no Starbucks, no movie watching or even reading. I wanted something you can’t choreograph or even plan for, but I tried. I’ll say right now that I should let that be enough, to have tried and to have done so with love, I think that’s it. My method was to make the advent calendar a mechanism for bringing us together. All those days stacked up together, each with some element that would connect us, no matter…

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Promise Yourself Pause

Posted on January 9, 2016

I am discovering that the promises I make to myself are short-lived. The New Year’s resolutions I make for myself fade to forgotten quickly, while resolutions that I make with others tend to endure. The revelations about what matters to me get shaken by run-of-the-mill doubt. A few years ago I swore I’d incorporate meditation or at least daily intentions. I also thought I’d gotten the hang of embracing, as John Legend sends, my curves and edges and perfect imperfections. Nope. At least I am not alone, I tell myself. The arrival of Oprah and her campaign to go Beyond the Scale and the epiphanies of women all around that, my god, if Oprah can’t buy it, sustain it, or master it, who can? I’d like to think that I…

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We are going to play

Posted on December 23, 2015

Sitting in a quiet house with a thick fog rolling through, the Christmas lights are on, and I can hear the girls playing upstairs. The year is winding down, but work demands and daughterly expectations are ascending—all good things. The only danger is that I listen to the wrong clamor, that the things that pull me may not be the most important or represent the best use of my time. I resist taking a clinical approach to prioritization or being. I just want life to flow and for my people, at work and at home, to be happy. Sigh. A few days ago it finally snowed, the girls went wild, in fact Briar woke early after a nightmare and as I cradled her in…

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