Posts from the “Random” Category

An Introduction and a Review

Posted on October 18, 2016

A long time ago a friend recommended to a woman from Hachette Book Group that I be sent a copy of Elizabeth Alexander’s book. I remember being so excited when it arrived in the mail, but as is often the case reading kept slipping off of my to-do (to-enjoy) list, replaced instead by laundry, work research, or sleep. It sat on my nightstand as a beacon of my inability to end the day with time left for me, until my mom came to visit. She was barely in the door when I said, “Here, I want you to give this book a try, I think you might like it.” She smiled, tired from the cross-country trip, but always game for a book. “Thanks,” she…

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Tiny Boosts—Finding Joy Anywhere

Posted on October 13, 2016

I read somewhere the other day that sadness is a part of the privilege of joy, it literally allows space for joy to breathe. That makes a lot of sense to me, maybe in part because I was raised to believe that sometimes you just need a really good cry. I remember letting myself go and falling into a pillow and unlocking the tears and worries of my younger self. I would cry until the pillow case was so wet I needed to flip it. Sometimes I’d throw in loud cleansing sobs.  As an adult I don’t do it quite as much, but I am trying to allow myself to get back to the practice of living unclenched. The years we spend unafraid of our…

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Let’s Do This #ImWithHer

Posted on October 8, 2016

I remember in high school I had two really close friends and a third who occasionally joined us in our shenanigans. The two I spent the most time with, Kristie and Rebecca, were both shorter than me. They also tended not to get as worked up about things as I did. I always felt kind of clunky and out of control by comparison. When there would be misunderstandings between us they would talk in back channels and often use our other friend as a way of talking with me. This of course only made me more frustrated. I look back on those years, awkward and tumultuous as they were, with great affection. These girls still cared for me in spite of how fiery I lived,…

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Use Your Pulpit

Posted on September 21, 2016

Turns out that heartbreak and horror taste like bile. I am not talking about the election. I’m specifically talking about race in this country. Black people. Black lives. Black lives mattering or not mattering and the people who fill rooms with the reasons another black person is dead. So many reasons that don’t include the person who shot, choked, or abandoned them. “If only they had…” “Why didn’t she…” “He had a record…” “She was rude…” This Instagram post, which I saw through Amy Vernon, hit me. I know not everyone is black, friends with a black person, aware that black people aren’t inherently thugs or angry, everyone is not me, but everyone living int his country is a part of what is going…

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You Know Best, But Do You?

Posted on August 26, 2016

A couple of years ago I noticed a bump on my hip. The shallow secret is that when I first saw it, I thought it was that I had lost weight and it was a bone that could be seen. The hollow-eyed, calorie-counting, laxative-popping, over-exercising girl that I was for a few years in college got excited. The addiction to weight-loss and control whispered in my ear, “You’re doing it, keep going.” I pushed that thought aside because I knew it wasn’t safe. I can’t diet like some people, when I begin to eliminate certain foods or to count calories I am right back on the high wire which takes perspective away putting me at risk. I was in a health center getting checked…

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