Posts from the “Random” Category

How is it February?

Posted on February 9, 2016

My last big act of 2015 was the culmination of wanting control over one part of my life. I ached to create a clearly defined and sustained period of time spent focused on the girls. I didn’t want it to be commercial or rooted in eating, no shopping, no Starbucks, no movie watching or even reading. I wanted something you can’t choreograph or even plan for, but I tried. I’ll say right now that I should let that be enough, to have tried and to have done so with love, I think that’s it. My method was to make the advent calendar a mechanism for bringing us together. All those days stacked up together, each with some element that would connect us, no matter…

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Promise Yourself Pause

Posted on January 9, 2016

I am discovering that the promises I make to myself are short-lived. The New Year’s resolutions I make for myself fade to forgotten quickly, while resolutions that I make with others tend to endure. The revelations about what matters to me get shaken by run-of-the-mill doubt. A few years ago I swore I’d incorporate meditation or at least daily intentions. I also thought I’d gotten the hang of embracing, as John Legend sends, my curves and edges and perfect imperfections. Nope. At least I am not alone, I tell myself. The arrival of Oprah and her campaign to go Beyond the Scale and the epiphanies of women all around that, my god, if Oprah can’t buy it, sustain it, or master it, who can? I’d like to think that I…

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We are going to play

Posted on December 23, 2015

Sitting in a quiet house with a thick fog rolling through, the Christmas lights are on, and I can hear the girls playing upstairs. The year is winding down, but work demands and daughterly expectations are ascending—all good things. The only danger is that I listen to the wrong clamor, that the things that pull me may not be the most important or represent the best use of my time. I resist taking a clinical approach to prioritization or being. I just want life to flow and for my people, at work and at home, to be happy. Sigh. A few days ago it finally snowed, the girls went wild, in fact Briar woke early after a nightmare and as I cradled her in…

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Tiny Moments Forever

Posted on December 18, 2015

A card came in yesterday’s mail. I’ve shed my shame over holiday cards. I’ve developed a love and devotion to non-traditional, spurred by whimsy messages, sending pressed wildflowers to friends apropos of nothing, or buying exquisitely designed cards to send off in the hope that they might turn out to be little soldiers combatting the crippling doubt or worry that sometimes hit up even the best of us. This card was in an envelope addressed in beautiful writing to The Magees. The girls, having collected the mail an hour before I arrived home, were chomping at the bit to open it. “Look, mom. It has a Harry Potter sticker!” I laughed and set aside the pizza dough that was not cooperating. “Ok, let’s do this. Open…

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Revisiting Things We Learn

Posted on December 16, 2015

Last year I wrote a post after a random encounter with a Spiderman character in Times Square. Being 5′ 10″ and having always been the tall friend or the big friend, I’m not someone who likes to be picked up by people. That sticker on mirrors, “Objects may appear smaller than they actually are” has been true for my weight, so the idea of uttering it aloud or having someone feel it by lifting me is just, well it taps into every insecure, awkward emotion from high school. Not something I’m proud of, but it’s there. When this guy persisted in trying to literally pick me up in, as hard as this is to believe, a totally non-creepy way, I finally thought, “What the…

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