Posts from the “Roar” Category

A Game of Chicken with Weight

Posted on February 12, 2017

I have obsessed about weight. In college I abused laxatives. I’ve battled with disordered eating. I said hateful things to myself. I compared myself to women in magazine, classmates, strangers, and, quite possibly, people who didn’t even exist. The lengths I took to keep the bar of how I was supposed to look and what I should weigh just out of reach was staggering. I made it impossible to succeed. As I raise three daughters I feel terror because of all the very real threats in the world, hating ourselves can be the most devastating. I watch them grow, their shapes changing constantly, and each new contour and curve makes me fall more intensely in love with who they are. They have never had a…

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MLK isn’t a Holiday

Posted on January 16, 2017

If anything it is a call-to action. Pithy quotes and puffed chests, effusive adoration of a man on a single day a year and deafening silence on those days not dedicated to his memory. Harsh? Perhaps, but I’ve been guilty myself, so I lump myself right in there with the rest. Despite people pinning the shit out of quotes about sticking with love, darkness not driving out darkness, the time always being right to do what’s right, I have seen more All Lives Matter and Blue Lives Matter proclamations than I have seen public support of black lives. Martin Luther King Jr., also said, “In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” He was…

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When I Can Choose, I Do

Posted on January 11, 2017

Sadness isn’t always something I can control. There are periods in my life when I remember being slick with a sadness that I could not shake. Other times, though, it’s been a choice. I’ve luxuriated in sorrow, rolling up good and tight in the all-consuming oblivion of it. Last night as I sat down to watch President Obama give his farewell speech I was numb. The first few moments as I watched him walk out on stage I shook with fear that he would be assassinated. Dramatic? Sure, but lately the political and social realm has teetered toward the inconceivable. As he began talking I settled in, listening and remembering watching him be sworn in with the girls in our laps. As it really dawned…

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Tuesday Isn’t the End

Posted on November 6, 2016

I have been writing online since 2003. When I go back to what I wrote in the early days I sometimes cringe, but I also have compassion for who I was and where I was. If we are really all works in progress, then to improve we have to have times, experiences, actions that weren’t the best—they, and we, could be improved. Last year I began writing with less restraint about feminism. I left the fear of judgement behind and allowed myself to put out anything that on my deathbed I would have wanted to say. Sometimes it left me feeling naked and nervous. Did I go too far? I would wonder, but then and now I feel that going too far is better…

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Country, Not Candidates.

Posted on November 4, 2016

This morning I woke up to read the story about Harvard immediately canceling the remainder of the men’s soccer team season as the result of a revelation of ongoing sexual harassment. It is a bold and unequivocal move, penalizing some who may not have participated. Or did they? Is not speaking up complicity? Was it only the soccer team or is it more prevalent as one female soccer player said? This behavior is unfortunately new, what is new is the effort to address. I have been grateful for Kirsten Gillibrand here in New York who has worked on how sexual assaults on college campuses and in the military are handled. You don’t have to look very hard to find the accounts of women who…

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