Posts tagged “Avery

Hints of What Matters Amid the Chaos

Posted on October 22, 2014

  Time is doing that thing, that thing that reveals how fast it goes even while some days seem to last for weeks. It isn’t the back-to-school blur or a concentration of deadlines at work, though those are both real and present. It’s the toss of hair and expressiveness of Finley’s eyebrows, her declarations of, “It’s just odd!” followed by a quick scan of the room to see if we all caught how mature she is. It’s Briar slipping quietly into a private realm, emotions and Minecraft, daydreams and song lyrics. The way Avery thrashes in the night, limbs too long for her pjs and shocks of hair that when tucked behind her ear, reveal new hollows in her face. I buck against the…

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A Hair’s Breadth

Posted on October 8, 2013

The older I get, the more I realize everything is but a hair’s breadth from this moment— peril, bliss, understanding, balance. A morning of dropped razors, unfilled toilet paper rolls, and empty coffee containers can set the tone of my entire day. Afternoons stacked with barely veiled nastiness in my inbox, back-to-back red lights on the way to the bus, and meat I forgot to defrost can leave me staggering to bedtime. The tiniest shift in my thinking and I can set the course for things happening a certain way, or at least for how I ultimately respond to things. After the experience with Finley’s unexplained skin rash and fever this summer, about which I nearly lost my mind, I would have expected last week’s…

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Broken Plug

Posted on May 14, 2013

The concept of unplugging is a thing of beauty. Set aside the phone, close the laptop, hide the remote, and give yourself completely to the three dimensional. The pressure to unplug and the judgement of not doing so has become an oppressive blanket. The divide between those of us who use the online realm for work and those who don’t is a rapidly growing chasm. Essays on “That mom at the playground” abound. Luckily, of all the things I take to heart and struggle to overcome, this kind of judgement isn’t one of them. I want to unplug. I set my phone to silent and tuck it beneath the lamp in my bedroom. The tv isn’t an issue, it holds no real draw. Laptop,…

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No Recipe

Posted on March 26, 2013

I have no illusions that raising three daughters will be easy. I know from my own experience that self-confidence and self-acceptance can be ephemeral, a revelation of my own worth one day is hammered by crippling doubt another. Then there are things like Steubenville and the coveted thigh gap. The technology that they are growing up with changes accessibility in ways that I can barely grasp. Each time the headlines explode with these sorts of things I take a deep breath and think, “How can I use this?” As I look at our girls now, it’s hard to imagine having to worry about whether they will ask me to wear assboards. Right now our life is about a joy that springs from inside themselves,…

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Boots of a Different Color

Posted on May 15, 2012

My memory is shaky on things like birthdays and holidays. They almost always seem to sneak up on me in some way that requires me to feign awareness—”Oh, of course I have green things for each girl to wear and little leprechaun top hats,” and “Oh, sure, big doin’s for the holiday weekend. Been planning for months.” I have the best intentions, but the dealine to sign up for things and the second Monday of each month just seem to slip through my fingers. I’ve read beautiful posts by people who would appear to have their acts together—birthday posts right on their children’s birthdays, essays on topical subjects before they cease to be topical. I’ve passed storefronts beautifully decorated to perfectly celebrate the season, when…

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