Posts tagged “forgiveness

Travel Travails Triumph

Posted on November 23, 2014

If it weren’t for suspicious luggage and whispers of a bomb scare and a subsequent lockdown in the baggage claim at Orlando’s airport, I’d have written a proper post. Instead, there is this: a post with two images that capture the most important things about today—the anticipation of an adventure as seen from the window seat and then, after so many hiccups…             And a trip to the beach to do cartwheels and scream as they leapt in the surf hours after bedtime had passed.     Sometimes dwelling on the goo in between isn’t worth the time.

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That isn’t me

Posted on May 4, 2014

I don’t like to think of myself as being susceptible to envy, but I am, in fact I’m really good at feeling envy. I like to think of myself as being accepting and generous, but it’s there, the green eyed monster. In spanish they call it envidia. Isn’t that nice, almost like a name? Envidia. It reminds me of an evil character in one of the loathsome Barbie books that found its way onto our bookshelves. I have often separated my envious side in my mind as being a sort of alter ego. I’m not really envious, I just have moments of being Envidia. Whatever gets you through, right? It turns out that as I travel through 40 I am more ready to see…

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Resolve to Mean it

Posted on December 30, 2013

Each year I welcome the holidays with childlike wonder, soaking up the hope and patience that come to visit. Less than a month later I stow the decorations and vacuum the pine needles in a frenzy to reclaim order. Usually the cleaning blitz extends beyond the decorations as I scour the fridge and go through closets. I know I’m not alone as I watch headlines crop up with tips for a cleaner, healthier, cheaper New Year. Lose weight.              Let go of baggage.                Meditate. Everyone dives in and I think: Maybe I can make a pledge to reform some part of myself. Then the next wave of articles hit with people consumed by…

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Separation Anxiety

Posted on August 9, 2013

The girls have been struggling with a kind of separation anxiety lately. There have been more than 5 announcements of separations/divorce from couples they know over the last year. When it first began it was easy enough to gently explain that sometimes, like with being sisters, you need to get a little space or take a break. They would nod softly, ask if Sean and I were ok, and then move on to the next thing. I was hanging out with Finley one day and she said, “Mom, do I have a step-mom?” I shook my head, looked down at her, and said, “What, babe?” She stopped walking, turned to me, and repeated, “Do I have a stepmom?” I knelt down and said, “No,…

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Between Splinters and Sparkles

Posted on December 27, 2012

I remember thinking that I couldn’t wait to flip the calendar from 2011 to 2012. Foolish woman. As I look back on 2012 I realize that there will always be things I’d rather not relive, instincts that I will forever regret not following, but this isn’t college. I can’t replace my threadbare stuffed lion for a broken heart. The chip on my shoulder won’t teach anyone a lesson. The three sets of blue eyes that I catch watching me as I stare mournfully in to space are potent reminders that savoring heartache isn’t a pastime that I can enjoy without explanation. Yet, even as I try to shield the girls from certain details, I am evermore aware that I have to do less protecting and…

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