Posts tagged “grief

From the Lake’s Howls Come Spring

Posted on April 19, 2017

    The first time I heard the lake moan I didn’t know what I was hearing, I imagined a pack of wolves high on the ridge keening. It sounded at once mournful and foreboding. The 9-year-old me pressing hard against 42-year-old me, was all nerves and excitement, “Is it howling?” “It’s the lake,” Sean said with a smile. “Isn’t that wild?” “The lake? The lake is making that sound?” He nodded and held his hand out to me. We walked out on the porch, “Listen.” I turned my body and tilted my ear toward the lake. The sound started on the far side of the lake as a kind of warble that bled into a groan which went on for a full minute. I…

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Prayer for King

Posted on January 19, 2015

I worshipped my grandfather. At first it was the way he looked at me with unabashed delight, later it was for the way his skin creased like a blanket, and whiskers grew, but never hurt my face when he kissed me. Later still it was the careful consideration he gave any topic I asked about—homosexuality, abortion, racism. He listened to me in ways that other adults didn’t. He sent me sermons and passages from scripture, offering religion-based support for my positions or, if not that, then examples of how the Bible did not support the opposing view. Several times a year I search his name, sometimes with a key word, other times not. I take solace in knowing that so much of his teaching and writing…

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On Losing a Pet & Loving Again

Posted on November 12, 2014

I didn’t know when, or how, but I knew the day would come when the need to fill the hole left by Mae, our amazing kitten. The girls are sensitive and intelligent, often comprehending things in ways that I almost wish that they wouldn’t at their age. Along with the dolls and karate classes, I wish that I could offer some measure of oblivion to pad their all too brief childhoods. Mae’s death blew the doors off the idea of having anything more than a suggestion in the grand scheme of how life goes. I tried to do things in the days and weeks that followed her  abrupt passing to carve out special time to try new things with the girls. As we passed the year mark of when we…

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HerStories—Leaving & Losing Friends

Posted on September 24, 2014

I remember a friendship break-up from my childhood. We met in the late 70s when my family moved onto a dead-end street. We were the only girls on the block and became fast friends. We enjoyed a fairly long leash that allowed for hours of playing outside. We did it all, from pretending we were roller-skating gymnasts to racing super balls in the gutters with Star War figurines tied to twig rafts. It was in seventh grade that things began to fall apart—new friends, different interests. I was a late bloomer, though I didn’t know it then. As the era of boys standing in corners and girls fluttering back and forth in front of them descended, I lingered near the black top courts during recess, clinging to the time when we all…

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9/11

Posted on September 11, 2013

Twelve years ago at this time we were just waking up. An hour from now we’d be in the car on the way to the realtor’s office off Commonwealth Avenue. We were going to sign the lease on our first place together. Twelve years ago there were no wedding rings, no babies, no company. We were just two twentysomethings, in love and ready for the next step. The sky was impossibly blue. I had just flown back from California the day before.  My plane for Seattle was leaving Logan at a little after 9am, one more trip to visit my family before my new job started. After we signed the lease we walked out of the office, the plan was for me to take…

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