Posts tagged “life

Can I Talk to You?

Posted on September 12, 2016

We try hard to not mess up as parents, setting out with the best of intentions. The thing is we didn’t plan for the transitions and the way it all changes, as it should, after the switch from crawling to walking, preschool to backpacks and homework. The matrix gets simpler and infinitely more complicated at once. It’s easy to miss an invitation to talk or a cry for help, like blink and you miss it easy. I’m not sure I’m getting any better at being ready for the quiet, “Mom, can we talk” questions. Between the very real effect of stress on my body and the equally real threat that they’ll stop turning to me, I have to figure out a way. I found a quote early one morning…

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Results Are In: Benign Myxoma

Posted on August 31, 2016

My friend Heather came to visit Monday. She used to live in Albany and we’d get together periodically to catch up—sometimes to rant about things, other times to say things like, “My store is closing” or “Like, I don’t have a f*cking job.” I cannot stress enough how valuable it is to have people you don’t have to shine for, you can be scared and angry, they don’t care. In the case of Heather, she left Albany to go to Philadelphia to work for the DNC, so the stories were excellent.   Heather came because I was scared and she has without fail, reached out to me in times when I’ve been low and texted, “You want me to come up?” When she arrived…

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You Know Best, But Do You?

Posted on August 26, 2016

A couple of years ago I noticed a bump on my hip. The shallow secret is that when I first saw it, I thought it was that I had lost weight and it was a bone that could be seen. The hollow-eyed, calorie-counting, laxative-popping, over-exercising girl that I was for a few years in college got excited. The addiction to weight-loss and control whispered in my ear, “You’re doing it, keep going.” I pushed that thought aside because I knew it wasn’t safe. I can’t diet like some people, when I begin to eliminate certain foods or to count calories I am right back on the high wire which takes perspective away putting me at risk. I was in a health center getting checked…

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On These Days

Posted on June 7, 2016

I read yesterday that a remedy for hurt and worry is gratitude, which isn’t to say that a prayer of thanks and a walk in the woods can fix anything, but it can take the edge off for a time. Yesterday’s post and the continued onslaught of rage and incredulity are wearing me down. I’m allowing myself to focus on these days, the moments of being utterly captivated by Finley’s infatuation with the wind through the window. Being reminded of the way the air carries scents and stories and just by closing our eyes we can be transported to another place and time. The moments in a marriage when in the face of overwhelming responsibility and the seeming futility and cursedness of a project, we melt. I can…

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A Late Bloomer & a First Crush

Posted on February 22, 2016

Last night I posted a photo of Briar on Instagram. She seems to get more interesting, in both appearance and personality, by the moment. I don’t think of her in any way as a little carbon copy of me, there is so much to her that is uniquely Briar. She does appear to follow after me in the late bloomer category, not diving as headlong into tweendom as some of her classmates. I honestly have no opinion on late vs early, I think both are equally challenging and amazing. I am sure with three I’ll have a smidgen of everything.   What I do know is that when celebrity crushes happen they can be fun. I think some of the work we do at exercising our heart and,…

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