Posts tagged “marriage

Dismantling the Armor of Busy

Posted on February 25, 2015

It was December, we’d been granted an unexpected night out. My folks were visiting from the West Coast and mid afternoon my mom texted me at work, “Don’t come straight home. Spend time with your husband. Go. Get a drink. Gaze into each other’s eyes.” I thanked her and said that we would. It reminded me of those first weeks after we brought our firstborn home. I was besotted, doing nothing but nursing and watching her. My mom set a sandwich on the arm of my chair and whispered, “Save something for Sean.” Those words have come to me throughout our 12 years of marriage, particularly when the well is dry and he says, “What about us? When do we become a priority?”  …

+Read more

Marriage, Hurt Egos, & Good Intentions

Posted on January 14, 2015

Last year Sean and I collaborated on several posts about marriage—it’s been a while and it felt like it was time. Here is how I introduced this 2-part, I write/he writes approach before: I usually keep marriage along the periphery of the stories I tell. The silos of parenting and life are not as concise as they can seem in storytelling, they aren’t silos at all; they’re brush strokes sharing space on one canvas. Marriage, two sides, a post in two parts—first, what you’ve come to expect here, my words and emotional take on something that happened; second, words from Sean, his perspective on the same thing. It’s personal and revealing.    T he fresh snow squeaked beneath me as I walked to the back of the…

+Read more

Driving Memories

Posted on November 14, 2014

The drive to Kripalu was intense. My insides roiled with guilt and distraction. I’m still not entirely sure what to expect of this workshop and the girls’ mounting concern about my absence loomed. “Promise me you won’t text,” Sean said to me as we got ready to say goodbye in the parking lot. “I won’t. I promise.” Temptation hit several times, but I kept the phone down, the screen set to the map, which let me know the route I needed to take. No texting, no speeding, just get there, Manda.  I drove in silence for 30 minutes, the scenery changing from urban to suburban, then rural. The drivers outside of Albany moved faster than I realized, the cars surging by, easily 10 miles faster than my 70mph.  I…

+Read more

The Wisdom of it Being About the Journey

Posted on September 7, 2014

  We worked over the weekend. We had thought it would be a bit of a sneak-attack getaway, but it turns out that photo shoots at watermarks, no matter how amazing the resort or how kind the staff, are challenging on little sleep with three kids. We made the most of it, but the drive home was a gauntlet—missed turns, weak bladders, construction, stopped ferries, and all sorts of other impediments…I did some snapping, the girls did some whining, Sean might’ve done some selective hearing, and then at some point we just gave up. “Another bathroom break? Sure, why not,” and then at that convenience store (beautiful, because it was in Vermont) we encountered a graduation party with a live band, so we snacked on bananas…

+Read more

There Goes The Bride

Posted on June 25, 2014

A few weeks ago I was invited to write a post about marriage for #TheHereYear. The Here Year is a project/mission of Aidan Donnelley Rowley and Lindsey Mead, a 12-month long look at presence. Each month they select a different theme and riff on it and invite others to do so as well. It’s been fascinating to watch the posts, so many different stories and unique takes on being here, from an unflinching introspection on social media use, to touching on a subject they haven’t written about publicly, to stripping away everything but the truth. I was excited to participate, but as I mentioned in an earlier post, what I thought was, turned out not to have been at all—a bit like walking away from handing…

+Read more

%d bloggers like this: