Posts tagged “peace

The Weight is Over

Posted on December 21, 2013

She was sitting in the tub, a fever threatening and a belly full of upset. She’d been trying to get comfortable for an hour; multiple trips to the bathroom to vomit proving unproductive. At one point I even told her how to help herself throw up. It terrified me, like handing a match to a child. She looked horrified, so I’d suggested the bath. We were quiet, nothing but the soft sound of the bubbles settling, until she spoke. “Mom, do you remember the girl I went to preschool with who goes to my school now?” “Did she have long, brown hair? Her mom works at the school?” She looked uncertain. “She was bigger than some of the other kids, right?” She nodded, “Yeah,…

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Sticks and Stones

Posted on April 9, 2012

I can barely manage the questioning looks the girls give me sometimes, so I cannot even begin to fathom what it would be like to be a public figure subject to international, round-the-clock scrutiny. And let’s be honest, public scrutiny grows ever closer to a modern day witch hunt. Should political figures be questioned about their morality? I’m not sure, maybe if they shove one persona down our throats they should be called out if they’re being dishonest. Infidelity? Sketchy financial dealings? Disappointing, but I just don’t know where the line is.  A place I feel vastly more comfortable standing up and growing my throat clearing into a defiant, “Hell no” yell is the heaping amounts of criticism, speculation and ridicule waged on women.…

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Our Time

Posted on March 19, 2012

I unplugged this weekend. No Twitter. No Facebook. No email. No texting. Virtually no tv. I have a third-trimester-like-instinct to nest. I cannot stop my mind from thinking about preparing the house for warm weather, organizing the girls’ clothes, determining what we’ll be growing in the garden this year. Even more than addressing our home, there seems to be an impulse to ignore what is beyond our home. I have been doing so many things professionally that require me to step outside of the norm—presentations, late meetings, and a sustained outspokenness. I’ve always been very willing to give every moment to my work. Respond to emails at midnight, undertake projects on the weekend. You name it, someone asked it and I responded with an…

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Who’s that girl?

Posted on September 27, 2011

Ever since a boy in Avery’s pre-k class destroyed, or at least put a major chink, in her love of navy blue and superheroes, I’ve been incredibly mindful of how I manage self. How exactly does one raise daughters without letting the pendulum of self swing too far to one side or the other? I suppose that sounds wrong, how can you modulate self, right? Let them be who they’ll be. Do you demand that the superhero things not be pitched or do you let them say they are done with them? Do you turn the orange Joker shirt into a night shirt or do you let her wear it to school and hope that this new crop of kids doesn’t pipe up that…

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Durable Ribbons

Posted on September 19, 2011

Every once in a while I hesitate about a post. I learned a long time ago that some things, even though they are a part of my life, are not mine to tell. Still,  I’m pretty honest here, though there is an increasing awareness of how proprietary some of this is getting as the girls get bigger. Sometimes I write posts and delete them or just save them in draft form, catharsis without life on the internet. Other times I feel like I need to hit publish and put it out there. Discovering that you can’t teach something hurts. All the wonderful intentions I had to mold certain characteristics in our girls have slipped through my fingers like so much sand. Suddenly the time between…

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