Posts tagged “trust”

Trips Around the Sun

Posted on May 7, 2017

Time reveals a lot, it shows us how where we thought we were going and where we end up can be blessedly out of synch, it tells us more about ourselves, and it also uncovers who really matters. I’ve made plenty of mistakes with who I have chosen to trust, who I have doubted, and how much I’ve given. I wish I could say that it’s been an internal revelation or decision that has set me straight, that somehow I have had the instinct to ferret out the truth from the lies.  Nope. Good old fashioned before and after has done that, with a bit of help from forgotten texts and someone telling the truth. There are things in my life I would take back—don’t…

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Categories: Me

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From the Lake’s Howls Come Spring

Posted on April 19, 2017

    The first time I heard the lake moan I didn’t know what I was hearing, I imagined a pack of wolves high on the ridge keening. It sounded at once mournful and foreboding. The 9-year-old me pressing hard against 42-year-old me, was all nerves and excitement, “Is it howling?” “It’s the lake,” Sean said with a smile. “Isn’t that wild?” “The lake? The lake is making that sound?” He nodded and held his hand out to me. We walked out on the porch, “Listen.” I turned my body and tilted my ear toward the lake. The sound started on the far side of the lake as a kind of warble that bled into a groan which went on for a full minute. I…

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Categories: Random

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Disparate Realities

Posted on November 25, 2014

This week was intended to be a break. Getting away from work, home, school, everything but each other. We are not amusement park people, we are not, “We’ll take the works package.” I’m not sure why I pressed for it, what happened to make me say, “Let’s do the Orlando thing,” but I did. And we are. We promised one another that we’d roll with whatever happened—lines, crankiness, anything. We hadn’t expected bomb scares/suspicious luggage delays or tornado warnings and biblical deluges, but lo, they passed. I let a few snarky comments fly, but other than that, it just didn’t matter. Until last night. I’d been in my happy, little bubble when I opened my laptop and Sean asked, “Have they announced a verdict?” My mind…

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Categories: Me

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Passionate Distortion-Making Sense of Life

Posted on October 13, 2014

I remember the first time I took the girls to Target as a reward. They had helped me clear leaves in the backyard and I had told them that I would take them to the store to pick out a treat. It just didn’t occur to me how difficult it would be for them to manage the sensory assault. Each aisle made their eyes a bit wilder, each new shelf of LEGOS, Barbie, and My Little Pony made them blurt, “This, this is it.” “Easy, easy. Take a minute, just walk with me and let’s try to decide which thing is the most interesting,” I said walking and scanning the shelves. “Ok,” Ave said as she tossed a box back into a bin and took…

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Categories: Roar

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Writer’s Block from Heartbreak

Posted on June 14, 2013

Life has been very charged lately. Looking through my Instagram photos I can see a thread, an echo of my emotions through the images I choose to capture. The uncertainty of an experience I did not actively choose and a path from which I could not steer away. The odd mixture of terror and strength that comes from vulnerability. Accepting that I desperately need support and discovering that I have it. Acknowledging that I need to make a plan and accept my role in having acted in a way that gave people the opportunity to hurt me. I am looking forward to the frames ahead and hoping that with them I’ll find my words again.

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Categories: Me

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