So much changes when you… Move out. Get married. Become a parent. Get divorced. Come out. No matter who you are or where you are, so much changes eventually applies. I’m working through some things as I go through the day, but suffice it to say that reading about cancer encircling the spine, lungs and legs put it all right back [...]
Friday, July 22, 2011
The girls are home. I cried while they were gone. A lot. I walked past their bedrooms trying not to get caught up in the twisted sheets and discarded clothes all wrapped up in their summery scent of cut grass, lake water and cheesey-snack dust. Then the first morning without them came and the room pulled [...]
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
It began around 6. I was walking down the street and I began patting myself down, it was subtle at first. A tap to make sure my purse was at my side, a squeeze of the keys, then I touched my hip, my throat and then stopped to fully turn myself around and scan the [...]
Thursday, June 23, 2011
I knew it would have to happen eventually. We flirted with it in principle, then it became more pressing, something that had to move beyond concept and actually take place. I am, of course, talking about cutting Finley’s hair. She turned 3 in late April and has never had a haircut. How do you touch this? Finally she turned [...]
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Yesterday a friend from my Yakima days shared something on Facebook that I immediately felt was speaking directly to me. It said: Love one another and you will be happy. It is as simple and difficult as that. ~Leunig I don’t write about it here very often because it seems like if you want to find tragic, angry, bitter [...]
Saturday, May 28, 2011
A few months ago a promise was made, not just to myself or to Sean, we made the promise to all three girls. We committed to family time, real, honest-to-goodness family time. The three of them responded so immediately and so exuberantly that Sean and I were blessedly lifted up on to this incredible rush [...]
Sunday, May 15, 2011
I never knew that five years could feel like a lifetime. I didn’t understand that at five years old certain things would just slip from your face and reveal so much. I shake my head remembering how you were the one I worried about the most. I was so scared that I wouldn’t be able [...]
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
I remember as a little girl, standing at the checkout in the grocery store and eyeing the simple print-outs with a fluttering heart. Those holiday coloring contests ignited in me a belief that anything was possible. I imagined that even though I’d never had the steadiest hand in class, I might submit the winning entry. [...]
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Oh, Finley, you are 3 years old today. It sounds so trite, but I just don’t even know how that’s possible. You, more than either of your sisters, have grown up in the blended community of real life and online. This keyboard is so much a part of how I explored the months with you [...]
Thursday, March 31, 2011
You only have your first once. Briar was my storybook first—a glorious pregnancy, no family awkwardness, late summer into fall home-with-baby rapture. Six and a half years and 2 daughters later, her firstness gets eclipsed be her being the eldest. She is pushed hard, punished longer and coddled less. It is unfair and seemingly unavoidable. I [...]
Saturday, July 30, 2011
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