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Every Second

Saturday, July 30, 2011

5 Comments

So much changes when you… Move out. Get married. Become a parent. Get divorced. Come out. No matter who you are or where you are, so much changes eventually applies. I’m working through some things as I go through the day, but suffice it to say that reading about cancer encircling the spine, lungs and legs put it all right back [...]

My Sweet Chaos

Friday, July 22, 2011

8 Comments

The girls are home. I cried while they were gone. A lot. I walked past their bedrooms trying not to get caught up in the twisted sheets and discarded clothes all wrapped up in their summery scent of cut grass, lake water and cheesey-snack dust. Then the first morning without them came and the room pulled [...]

Phantom Limbs

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

7 Comments

It began around 6. I was walking down the street and I began patting myself down, it was subtle at first. A tap to make sure my purse was at my side, a squeeze of the keys, then I touched my hip, my throat and then stopped to fully turn myself around and scan the [...]

Unloc(h)ed

Thursday, June 23, 2011

12 Comments

I knew it would have to happen eventually. We flirted with it in principle, then it became more pressing, something that had to move beyond concept and actually take place. I am, of course, talking about cutting Finley’s hair. She turned 3 in late April and has never had a haircut. How do you touch this? Finally she turned [...]

Rising

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

12 Comments

Yesterday a friend from my Yakima days shared something on Facebook that I immediately felt was speaking directly to me. It said: Love one another and you will be happy. It is as simple and difficult as that. ~Leunig I don’t write about it here very often because it seems like if you want to find tragic, angry, bitter [...]

Bugs

Saturday, May 28, 2011

4 Comments

A few months ago a promise was made, not just to myself or to Sean, we made the promise to all three girls. We committed to family time, real, honest-to-goodness family time. The three of them responded so immediately and so exuberantly that Sean and I were blessedly lifted up on to this incredible rush [...]

Five at last

Sunday, May 15, 2011

6 Comments

I never knew that five years could feel like a lifetime. I didn’t understand that at five years old certain things would just slip from your face and reveal so much. I shake my head remembering how you were the one I worried about the most. I was so scared that I wouldn’t be able [...]

Hope Spinning

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

11 Comments

I remember as a little girl, standing at the checkout in the grocery store and eyeing the simple print-outs with a fluttering heart. Those holiday coloring contests ignited in me a belief that anything was possible. I imagined that even though I’d never had the steadiest hand in class, I might submit the winning entry. [...]

1095

Saturday, April 30, 2011

9 Comments

Oh, Finley, you are 3 years old today. It sounds so trite, but I just don’t even know how that’s possible. You, more than either of your sisters, have grown up in the blended community of real life and online. This keyboard is so much a part of how I explored the months with you [...]

Caught in the gap

Thursday, March 31, 2011

5 Comments

You only have your first once. Briar was my storybook first—a glorious pregnancy, no family awkwardness, late summer into fall home-with-baby rapture. Six and a half years and 2 daughters later, her firstness gets eclipsed be her being the eldest. She is pushed hard, punished longer and coddled less. It is unfair and seemingly unavoidable. I [...]

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