Posts tagged “Briar

Don’t Blink

Posted on November 13, 2014

Night before last I was the last one up to bed. I was typing away down here, putting away the last dishes, and, of course, playing with the kittens. By the time I went up I was bleary eyed and ready to drop. I plunked my phone on the bedside table and then walked down to the bathroom. After washing my face and brushing my teeth I padded down the hall to Fin and Ave. Ave had rolled and tucked deep inside the blankets, a thatch of dark hair covering one eye. I nuzzled her face, brushing the hair aside as I whispered, “Mama loves you.” She stirred, pressing a hand against my face, “Mmmmama.” My eyes crinkled, I pivoted to Finley. She was…

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Collision of Duty

Posted on November 11, 2014

The girls didn’t have school today. All of last week and over the weekend, the girls excitedly talked about what they’d learned about Veterans in school and the ways in which they had honored them. I listened and hoped that the conversation wouldn’t take a dark turn. I had read of the passing of Tomas Young and I know from Briar’s chatter about the student news that they watch at school that she is familiar with ISIS. I am sure that in the ways that kids pick up little tidbits, some from lessons, others from eavesdropping, there could be real confusion about war and how it is to be against war but in support of our service people. The tough conversation never came, though…

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Hints of What Matters Amid the Chaos

Posted on October 22, 2014

  Time is doing that thing, that thing that reveals how fast it goes even while some days seem to last for weeks. It isn’t the back-to-school blur or a concentration of deadlines at work, though those are both real and present. It’s the toss of hair and expressiveness of Finley’s eyebrows, her declarations of, “It’s just odd!” followed by a quick scan of the room to see if we all caught how mature she is. It’s Briar slipping quietly into a private realm, emotions and Minecraft, daydreams and song lyrics. The way Avery thrashes in the night, limbs too long for her pjs and shocks of hair that when tucked behind her ear, reveal new hollows in her face. I buck against the…

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A New Dance

Posted on April 23, 2014

  We were sitting in my living room while the girls sprinted around the house.  My mom leaned over to me and whispered, “We took care of the Easter Bunny.” My stomach dropped, I’d completely forgotten. The next sensation was embarrassment, had they handled Easter because they saw that I wasn’t? I searched her face. The “we” tickled at me, confusing me. She hadn’t been out alone with Papa to do a shop. The look on her face was foreign, a little bit of guilt, maybe excitement, and something else, a kind of sympathetic pain, maybe. “Briar,” she said it so softly. The familiar sound rocked me. Briar. I mouthed the word back to her. Briar. She nodded. “We were driving along and she said,…

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Idolize

Posted on January 9, 2014

There were papers strewn about the table, the aftermath of our after school “Mom, look at this” dance. By now Avery is skiing with Sean and Finley is suited up in pjs watching a show; her homework long since done. “Ok, B, what’ve we got left,” I ask her. “Well, I have two math sheets and spelling. Oh, and a little reading.” My shoulders slump a little. Math. I struggle to keep my own insecurity and frustration at bay, on top of simply trying to understand the mechanics of it all. Somehow, though not without tears, we finish the two sheets. Then it’s on to spelling. Briar sits hunched over the table, her legs impossibly braided together in a flat tangle. Her glasses slide…

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